Beggars can’t be choosers, Jennie!

That’s very true, Aaron. But I didn’t know that Fred Ted and Alan were your type?

Mine’s a Pint.

(there’s plenty of non-feminists to pull at the pub)

*smiles devilishly*

*gets coat and goes down the pub*

*pauses*

*stops procrastinating and goes back to working*

What’s your Agony Auntie question, thomas?

It’s not like ‘feminist’ corresponds with woman, so you can’t accuse me of sexism either. I’m dissatisfied with the description, not self-satisfied.

Should I apologise for being provocative?

How self-satisfied. And what if they’re one and the same person?

Appropriating socialist concepts won’t win any arguments, however much sympathy you might feel you are getting: solidarity must cross barriers to have any effect.

Ask a feminist, expect an earbashing; ask an egalitarian, expect an answer.

The reason these women need so much better treatment from their agency is that most of them have caring obligations and work part-time, because most of them are women with traditional family arrangements. That makes it a women’s issue - and I agree that it’s not some airy-fairy concept of patriarchy we need to be fighting here, but an actual patriarchal employer organisation.

I’ve spoken to the Fremantle care workers, too, and you’re right - feminism for them means something utterly different. But I think the feminism of middle-class women and middle-class workers is also valid, and part of the same struggle.

Feminism has to be about identity, but about politics, too - it should involve constant touching base with trade unions, workers’ struggles, as well as seeing our movement as continuous with anti-racism and other forms of opposition to injustice.

I get the point you’re making, but I don’t think it’s an either/or situation. I think defining ourselves as women and men, and what femininity or masculinity means to us, is part of the class struggle - because gender fascism has always been a part of anti-socialism. The TUC is spearheaded by women who self-define as feminists. The 10p income tax rate is a feminist issue because far more women than men are working low-paid, part-time jobs. I don’t think these are issues can be separated from feminism.

P.S Ambi-gendered is a crib term for people who self-define as inter-sex, androgynous or ‘both’ genders. There aren’t many, but I thought they were worth a mention.

I’ve had a think about some of this, and I’ll tell you what gets on my nerves: the utter futility of feminism and feminist action while its proponents are so utterly self-indulgent and self-focused.

I don’t think there’s anything remotely useful or interesting - or worth analysing, or investigating - about the fact that a bunch of overindulged, middle-class navel-gazers like ourselves took our knickers off for cash at some point. I see that you make that point above yourself.

I don’t think the world cares an iota about our views on the male obsession with tits, or gender relations. I don’t care who you and/or other women shag. I barely care who I shag half the time.

What matters, Auntie, is that Rome burns while modern feminism indulges in appalling little infights about whose feminism is more feminist (although I admit I kind of started this one). I appreciate that you have said above that you are looking forward to becoming an older feminist, and believe men should be included in the feminist discourse. That is good news. I think any more division between the genders and age-groups would have done me in forever.

What we should be doing as feminists on this website is talking less about ourselves and our own dreary hangups, and more about the real issues that the left should address.

We should be talking about the fact that teachers, lecturers and god knows who else are going on strike this week, and why.

We should be working together to ask why this ridiculous Labour government is about to whack a tax hike on a group of people who cannot afford it. We should be out interviewing those people, not sitting here, trying to out-tit each other. I’m already so bored with the stripper/whore/male-hangup-with-tits thing that I can barely stand it.

I have already done a lot of interviewing this year of the female careworkers whose pay - and working terms and conditions - has taken such a hit since they began working for the Fremantle Trust. I’m going out on a limb, here, but I bet those women couldn’t give a damn about overeducated, overindulged women whining about being at a disadvantage. Ditto for women on benefits, etc.

Feminism, in other words, should never be about defining yourself. It can’t be. It should be about using lessons learned during the fight for your own employment, social and sexual rights to improve things for other women.

Signed,

An upstart colonial.

PS - What’s ambi-genderism?

speedy answer:)

To be honest I dont think that currently either gender has equal rights - either in law or in culture.

“…being your own person, valuing yourself and allowing others to do the same, without being dictated to by received stereotypes.”

Now that sounds bang on to me.

It feels somehow restrictive to call that viewpoint ‘feminism’ as if it is unique to a particular gender. The word feminism makes it sounds like there’s a lot more going on - all of it specific to women. I guess that why I’m not a fan of the word, even though people who call themslves feminists often seem to me to say eminiently sensible-sounding things.

Now if there was a word that meant ‘your gender should not dictate how society treats you, and that is the viewpoint that I support’ it would be really quite shiny.

Do we have one?:)

I’m with you in thinking that the word ‘feminism’ is slightly deceptive. I think that ‘gender activism’ would be more accurate.

Feminism, for me, needs to promote, first and foremost, the equal rights of women, the transgendered and ambi-gendered with men. Feminism isn’t about one gender being superior - it’s about gender, like race, not being a question of power any more. It’s about interrogating gender, interrogating cultural stereotypes, questioning everything.

Feminism is about opposing heteronormatice patriarchy - and recognising that patriarchy comes in many forms. Feminism is about being your own person, valuing yourself and allowing others to do the same, without being dictated to by received stereotypes.

Men can be feminists too - indeed, they should be, just as white people shouldn’t be turned away from ‘rock against racism’ events, for example. Feminism is about fighting patriarchy, heteronormative hegemony and gender fascism wherever it occurs, and men have just as much invested in that as women, if they want to be truly free.

what does ‘feminism’ mean to you?

Is it the exclusive promotion of womens rights or the promotion of the view that one gender is superior to another, the desire to highlight issues affecting women or something else entirely?

I’ve seen it be called each of those things and some of them make me uncomfortable.

I know how angry I would feel if there was an ‘ism’ that promoted mens rights above womens so I guess I’m wondering more and more what feminism means to people, and whether the word itself is damaging to the cause. Whatever the cause is.

Genuinely curious:)

I think part of feminism is about getting away from the idea of male/female relationships as a form of gender-bargaining. Focus on the fact that you’re moving to London of your own accord, partly because of your relationship, but also because London is the place to be - particularly Turnpike Lane, City of Dreams and All-Night Booze.

That said, though, you are entirely justified in letting him know that you are putting yourself out for the relationship, and asking that he do the same - whatever that means for you. If your boy is a doctor and you aren’t, it doesn’t mean that your career and life choices are less valid - you bring a lot of joy to a lot of people (I theorise, not that we know one another of course). That said again, I find that presents and copious cunnilingus sessions are *always* good.

If the boy ever does get a secretary, I suggest that you sleep with her or him, just to make a point.

*loves*