It’s common knowledge on the left that Christmas is a pernicious racist-imperialist construct, an unholy alliance of Catholicism, Coca Cola and capitalism whose only function is the exploitation and repression of the international working classes. Well, bollocks to that. Christmas is a right laugh, a time for family, friends and frolicking whether you do the God thing or not.

But if we want those doey-eyed little ones looking up at us to have a future free from acid rain, hurricanes and summer floods, it’s time for a festive fightback. No, I don’t mean making common cause with the fundies, but what better day than the feast of Santa Lucia to publish a cut-out-and-keep guide to an enlightened Winterval.

Here are fifteen ideas to get us started; feel free to add your own below.

1. Shop local, eat seasonal. There’s a reason why mange tout and kiwi fruit compote isn’t part of the traditional lunch. Christmas shop by bus, to your local high street; not by car to an out-of-town mall. And so on.

2. Buy from John Lewis. It’s a wholly-owned workers’ co-op. Plus you get an extra year on your electronics guarantees. And free delivery.

3. Watch out for truly minging ‘charity’ Christmas cards, that give a tiny fraction of their cover price to good causes. The Charities Advisory Trust’s 6th annual shit list is here (pdf); you won’t believe who won this year’s Scrooge Award (or maybe you will). The UK’s first 100% charity card, benefiting the Make A Wish Foundation, was launched this year.

4. Make a contribution to local education by shopping for the kids at Yellow Moon. Up to 25% of every purchase kicks-back to your chosen school.

5. Promote neighbourhood harmony by sending the whole street a (charity) Christmas card. Despite what you read in the Express, no one is likely to respond by calling for you to be beheaded outside Primark.

6. Cut down on the airmiles of your festive bubbly by buying British: Nyetimber is a match for any Champagne at the price.

7. Promote one of the few remaining examples of cooperative capitalism: buy book tokens. Way easier to track down than a Wii.

8. Take the reply-paid envelope from every seasonal loan offer that drops on the doormat, seal it and stick it back in the mail. It costs the bottom-feeders money every time.

9. Protest the onward creep of capitalist Christmas by boycotting the shops on Boxing Day. The Poseidon Adventure’s probably on, anyway.

10. Put up some lights, build a crib, fly the flag of St George if you want. Nobody’s going to arrest you, not even your ZaNuLabour multicultural police taskforce. Just don’t bloody whinge about it.

11. Support a small business run by treehuggers. Now in its 10th year, Little Green Earthlets sells organic clothes and skincare products, sustainable and Fairtrade stocking fillers and even Clive Litchfield’s Organic Directory 2008.

12. For a sustainable fish course, make the smoked salmon organic, the prawns North Atlantic, or best of all go for the trusty mussel, reared with the kindest form of aquaculture. There’s even a festive recipe here.

13. Like Charlie said, or was it Jesus: don’t forget to think of others. Development charity World Vision publish a list of their most needed alternative Christmas gifts here. The price of a Leapster buys 10 mosquito nets in Zambia; or reunite a Cambodian child with his family for less than a good bottle of Puligny-Montrachet. Alternatively, become a festive volunteer at the Crisis Open Christmas here.

14. Recycle or compost everything - from trees to the turkey carcass. Choose a sustainable tree.

15. Protest your right to protest by candlelight, with anti-carols. Details here.

And remember, don’t blow a gasket when the little people ask you ‘Is he coming yet?’. Point them here on Christmas Eve, where they’ll find Santa’s flight plan mapped out on t’Interweb, put your feet up and get stuck into the mulled wine before it turns to vinegar.

Merry Christmas.